As a youngster I was lucky enough to grow up in a Sikh family. Although only one of my parents is Amritdhari, Sikhi was still what my upbringing was based upon. Consequently from a young age, I would attend the Gurdwara Sahib on a weekly basis, but had little knowledge of what was going on around me as well as upholding basic Sikh principles. As for the 5K’s where only mentioned by name and no one mentioned their importance or what role they played in a Sikh’s everyday life, I cut my Kes at a young age, which really upset my Amritdhari parent. On seeing this, my parents decided to explain to me at the age of about eight why keeping my Kes were important. As I began to learn about the Sikh principles, I became more attached to the Guru’s teaching.
With the blessing of Vaheguru I overcame this hurdle and was soon reciting my Nitnem on a regular basis. Much of this influence came from a local Sikhi camp I attended, where I was taught about the basics of Sikhi in more depth. For the first time I was introduced to a Shabad with its translations.
jo tho praem khaelan kaa chaao ||
If you desire to play this game of love with Me,
sir dhhar thalee galee maeree aao ||
then step onto My Path with your head in hand.
eith maarag pair dhhareejai ||
When you place your feet on this Path,
sir dheejai kaan n keejai ||20||
I gained an understanding, which was heart wrenching. I was drawn by the teachings and it made me realise how magnificent and unique Sikhi actually was. As time went by I began to help out at other camps, which was amazing it gave me the opportunity to share the little knowledge I had with the youth and to learn more openly from the campers themselves.
For a while life was amazing, however I felt I should have made some changes to my spiritual life, but one of the biggest physical changes came in 2006, which changed my whole life. As I began to grow in my Sikhi, I attempted to start wearing a bandana, aiming to tie a keski permanently. I didn’t want to rush things but take things slowly. I managed to persuade my parents to let me go and ask the Panj Pyare to give me Chula. The feeling is unexplainable but I knew it was something that was going to make me spiritually stronger.
Two weeks after receiving Chula, the unthinkable happened, which changed my life completely. My cousin who was the same age as me at the time, along with two other Gursikhs left this earth to be with Vaheguru. Hearing this made me realise that age does not matter, death can come along at anytime, the next breath is not guaranteed to anyone and the importance of Amrit hit me. All that went through my mind was ”why am I wasting this life? Just like my cousin I should be Amritdhari by now. Who knows when death will come?”
The first step I knew I should take was to replace my bandana with a keski, as this had always been a personal goal for me from a young age. I was inspired by the singhnis I saw at my local Gurdwara and wanted that sense of pride in wearing a keski as they did. This was really hard for my parents to accept, but with Guru Ji’s kirpa over the months they began to accept my decision.
The weeks leading to the funeral were filled with kirtan and veechar programs, which helped me wake up to the reality that it’s pointless wasting this life, for the purpose of life is to become one with the Lord. The aims of life and the Sikh principles became clearer; Guru Granth Sahib Ji and sangat became a lot more important to me. Even though in the previous years I had learnt why sangat, simran and seva where vital, I realised that I needed get myself involved more if I wished to stay on track in my Sikhi. I started to do the seva I was previously doing for local youth camps on a yearly basis now from the heart instead of because I had to. The feeling was extraordinary. Also thanks to my sangat I was advised with some techniques on how to apply simran to my life. It was difficult at first, but I gradually started with doing an extra couple of minutes of simran a night. As time went by my love for Sikhi grew.
Over the next few months of my life became a rollercoaster ride for me and my family didn’t like certain things I was changing about myself. They constantly made sly comments such as ”where has the old you gone?” They didn’t expect the ”new” me to last, they saw it as a phase that I was going through, but they soon realised that it was permanent thing. But for a while they still tried to make me do things that I was reluctant to do (i.e. get me to dance at weddings and make me take off my keski and wear jewellery for family occasions so that I would look ”better”). At the time when they used to try to force all this on me I used to get upset and think to myself ”is this all really worth it?”. Luckily I didn’t give up and continued with my practice of Sikhi. I had faith in Guru Ji and knew that He would help me.
Keeping this within my mind, it made me stronger. Several months went by and my family began to stop pressuring me and allowed me to carry on with my chosen path. Even though there will always be things that I do, which they will see as ‘extreme’, I am certain now that I have my family’s support, which I was longing for from the start. Hopefully one day very soon, I will take that bigger step of taking Amrit.
Since coming into Sikhi from the heart and not because of others as I have found although life has at times been a challenge, it has been amazing at the same time. Always keep in mind that once you take one step towards Guru Ji, He takes millions towards you, trust me! Gurbaani tells this:
‘Charn Sharn Gur Ek Penda Jaye Chal, Satgur Kot Penda Aagay Hoi Let Hai.’
However, the most amazing thing happened recently when my family allowed me to have darshan of Takht Sri Hazoor Sahib for 300 years of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji’s Gurgadhi Divas. It felt like heaven on Earth. I was in ecstasy and it gave me a reality check on my life; what was really important in life and what wasn’t. Whatever the future holds is a mystery, no one can be certain what will happen next.
.. So as my mother was a working lady n my father was always out of station and came only 2 months home in a year as he was in army, my mother had all the work to do.. including purchasing.. taking care or me and my younger sister who’s about 3 and a half year younger to me.. along with 9am-5 pm office.. overall a lot busy life..no one(mum-papa) was amritdhari.Papa used to drink occasionally and was non-veg but mum was veg though very less knowledge about Sikhism.. only the much one today have with village backgrounds… like doing path occasionally, going to gurdwara sometimes, listening a bit of sakhis, doing sewa.. and along going to other places of faith also if there is some kind of program nearby.. as it was thought all ways goes to god.. and we should live with unity.. lol
played whenever got time in gurdwara sahib..
